Another Me

Another Me

*Trigger Warning: Depression, Mental Health

When I picked up my phone

Staring back at me

Was a reflection of myself

 

When I hit the on button

The phone came to life

And I became the deceased

 

I guess, when the lights are off

We can only be identified by the lights from our cell phone screens

Or the lack of it

We would survive as long as our phones do,

For we don’t know how to live without it

 

It has become another me

I could be what I, in real life, am not

I can live with my fake identity,

Disguising my true self and my stupidity

Erasing every mark of my existence

In a single click

 

Hundreds of unread emails,

Dozens of texts from friends and family

And a few notifications that I didn’t care about

All of these and many more, gone

In a single click

 

Yet still they all called to me, subconsciously,

And tempted me to immerse my attention to discover,

Unravel,

The mysterious tales they tell

 

These tales might not be of value

But undoubtedly they are worthwhile

At least that’s what I thought

When I aimlessly browsed

For hours and hours and all you hear is

Click, click, click

 

Hidden amongst these texts was a message

That showed the amount of time I spent

On this amazing device, sometimes for a couple days,

It read up to 7 hours

It forced me to be cynical and accused me of the time I’ve wasted

And guilty I felt

 

With the will of determination

I shut down my phone,

And promised myself

That I wouldn’t allow it to disrupt my life again, I murmured

This is the last click

 

Yet this promise is just amongst a million others

That I have previously made

I am tired, trapped

Yet still unwilling to change..

Click..click..click..

 

Because it is an escape to a surreal life

Away from the mundane worries

Another world, a chance to gain attention and make connection

It is rebirth

It is The Life, lost

In a single click

 

When I pick up my phone

Staring back at me

Is a reflection of myself

 

When I click on the on button

The screen lightens up, yet

What I see is no longer me